Throughout the COVID-19 pandemic that began late in 2019, the author worked as a solo hairstylist in the front parlor of an old Victorian house in the Pacific Northwest. Beauteous Maximus is a collection of intimate fictionalized stories that were inspired by hundreds of conversations the author had with his customers about what it was like to live through the unprecedented disaster that conquered every nation on Earth. Written in vignettes that are woven through the backdrop of politics and popular culture of the time, this compilation is an honest depiction of the impacts of pandemic life as told through the experiences of a gay man. COVID ushered in a conscious awakening and a coming of age. It was a turning point in human evolution that brought about the powerful desire to heal and to find lasting solutions to hatred and bigotry that were never thought possible. This work is a testament to humanity's greatest strength -- its ability to endure the fear of annihilation with Hope, Love, and the Wisdom of Truth. Beauteous Maximus is written in dedication to our future selves.